


I'll Fathom You Out Along The Way

by Chechilia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Feels, Happy Ending, Hitchhiking, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of Child Abandonment, Modern Era, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 20:30:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13442799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chechilia/pseuds/Chechilia
Summary: When Arthur drives home from a business meeting, he comes across Merlin, a young student hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere. As the night unfolds, they learn more about each other than they would have thought possible, and even become close, sharing stories and secrets like long-time friends. But they mustn't forget : the closer they get to Camelot, the sooner the drive is bound to end.





	I'll Fathom You Out Along The Way

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been sitting on my desk for a while (a few months already) and I didn't quite know what to do with it, so I thought I might as well post it. I find it a bit strange, a bit out of place, and it was quite hard to develop their relationship considering the setting.  
> There's a lot of myself in there, you'll find, so I hope you'll like it.  
> Enjoy !

It was a beautiful night.

White clouds were slowly drifting overhead, their funny shapes a strange contrast against the wide dark sky. The sun was already disappearing behind the faraway hills, and a few stars were starting to appear here and there, tiny flecks of gold whose lights were almost hidden by the crescent moon. The air was warm and soft in the end of the summer, and a gentle wind was blowing against the trees, just enough for Arthur Pendragon to be able to drive with his windows wide open, breathing in the fresh air.

There wasn't any music in the car, and Arthur's was the only one on the road. Everything was silent save for the purring of its engine and the steady chant of grasshoppers, the occasional owl or toad posing themselves as troublemakers.

Instead of loathing the forced solitude, as he knew most of his friends would have, Arthur was rather enjoying the peace and quiet he so desperately needed after a most stressful evening. He had been attending a business meeting until late, the company asking way more questions than was customary, and despite his confidence in the outcome, Arthur hadn't been able to truly relax until the CEO had given him a firm handshake and a contract to sign.

To relax was what he was doing right now, driving back home. His tie was loosened and his shirt collar open, his sleeves rolled up to expose the tanned skin of his muscled arms. His jacket was carelessly thrown on the passenger seat, along with his black suitcase, all thought of work relegated to the back of Arthur's mind.

Stifling a yawn, the blond flicked a glance at his watch before reporting his attention on the road, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the knots in his back. It was a good seven hours drive from Mercia to Camelot, and Arthur knew he would only have so much time to rest along the way, as he had another meeting to attend to at ten in the morning.

The long drive didn't really bother him, but he was aware of the fact that he was tired, and as such that it would be hard to stay awake, alone on the road in the middle of the night.

Perhaps he should have taken that coffee before leaving.

***

Leaving the outskirts of the city proper, Arthur drove on, the tall buildings slowly leaving their places to secluded villages, then to the deserted countryside - save for one or two farms along the way. He knew it would be a while until he'd find civilization again, but he couldn't afford to make a stop so soon : he needed to reach Camelot before morning.

As he was nearing one of the farms the furthest away from Mercia, huge bumps on the road started jostling his car and forced him to slow down. Careful not to stray from the path he was following, Arthur almost didn't catch sight of the dark shape huddled on the side of the road. A sudden movement was enough to derail his attention and he froze on his seat, heart thumping in his chest. His first thought was that it was an animal, paralyzed by fear as the car approached, but as Arthur closed in on the apparition, the headlights revealed a man standing underneath a tree.

A huge backpack was secured between his legs, and one of his arm was outstretched, slender fingers all curled up in a fist except his thumb.

The hitchhiker - and it was a hitchhiker, Arthur reflected, despite the night hovering over him and the nearby roads being deserted - was tall and lanky, without being overly thin ; his skin was as pale as the moonlight and his hair darker than the sky itself. He was currently squinting at the too sudden light, and an uncertain smile stretched his full lips as Arthur slowed down the car, coming to a stop a few feet away.

Later, Arthur wouldn't be able to explain what overcame him in that instant, except that he felt a tug at his heart at the sight of the man, a fleeting but overwhelming sense of belonging that urged him get closer. He stopped the car and waited a second or two, not quite knowing what to do now that he had implicitly agreed to take in the hitchhiker. The dark-haired man saved him the trouble as he briskly rounded the car, leaning in at Arthur's open window :

'' Hey " he said, a bit hesitant.

The hitchhiker's voice was warm, Arthur thought, deep and rich with an accent he couldn't place, its intensity sending shivers barrelling down his spine.

" Hey " the blond replied, hands still on the wheel. " Where are you heading ? "

It was the most obvious question to ask at this point, Arthur figured. The rest - namely, _what the hell are you doing here at this time of the night ?_ \- could wait. The man shrugged, surprising Arthur :

" Well, at this point " he replied with a bright grin that made his eyes crinkle, " pretty much anywhere would be good. "

Arthur pondered that for a second, lips pressed together. He hadn't planned to take in a passenger, but on the other hand, he couldn't really leave the other man there and drive away. That would be rude, and besides, it wasn't like having some company would cost him anything.

" I'm on my way to Camelot " he offered. " It's a bit far from here, but I could drop you off along the way. Or get you there, if that's what you want. "

His proposition was met with a raised eyebrow and a considering once-over that Arthur fully understood : a man, hitchhiking alone in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night ? Another man, also alone, happening to pass by at just the right time, offering a ride ? It sounded just like the beginning of a bad murder mystery or the stuff of fairytales, and Arthur had never been fond of either.

The hitchhiker seemed to follow his train of thoughts, as he slightly shook his head, poised relaxed but eyes guarded :

" Nope " he declined, " no way. "

He bit his lip, looking apologetic, but his body language showed that he more defiant than sorry :

" You're way too nice " he supplied, wincing at his own explanation. " Nobody's that nice to a stranger. "

A ghost of a smile danced on his lips as he added :

" Even less so a ponce in a fancy suit. "

Arthur snorted at the insolence. In any other circumstances, he might have felt insulted by the comment, even more so since he was only trying to help, but he couldn't find it in himself to be angry :

" You would miss the opportunity to travel with a gorgeous stranger for the sake of propriety ? " he boldly asked, the beginning of a smirk curling on his lips.

As the hitchhiker made a curious sound at the back of his throat, half concerned and half amused, Arthur raised his hands in a placating gesture :

" Don't worry " he promised, " I'm not that nice. I still hold on to the right to kick you out if you displease me. "

His answer was met with a light chuckle, but Arthur noticed that the tense lines of the man's shoulders didn't relax one bit :

" And what would cause that displeasure ? " he asked, softly, carefully, and Arthur understood too late how badly his words could have been interpreted.

" Trying to steal my wallet, for one thing " he answered swiftly, demeanor careless but eyes serious. " General annoyance. Arrogance. Holier-than-thou attitude. Dishonesty and all that. "

Arthur knew he didn't dream the relief flickering across the man's face, not quite plain, but enough for Arthur to know that the stranger was considering his proposition. Surely enough, after a second or two, a wide grin fully stretched the hitchhiker's lips :

" I think we're all set " he confirmed, nodding briskly. " Alright, I'll go with you. "

Arthur was quick to grab his suitcase and his jacket from the passenger's seat, negligently relegating both items to the back of the car.

" Come on in, then " he prompted, gesturing to the liberated seat. " We don't have all night. "

The other man choked out a laugh at the sight of Arthur's cheeky smile, and he carefully settled his backpack in the backseat before sitting upfront, next to Arthur.

" I'm Merlin, by the way " he introduced himself with a good-natured smile, extending a hand.

Arthur snorted in disbelief, and Merlin's smile turned sour. Noticing that the latter was glaring daggers at him, the blond quickly shook the proffered hand, despite the angle being kind of awkward.

" It's an absolute delight to meet you " he replied, totally unfazed by Merlin's reaction. " I'm Arthur. "

Merlin raised an eyebrow, lips twitching in an aborted smile :

" You're having me on ! " he exclaimed, half indignant.

" I am not " Arthur countered, shaking his head with a long-suffering sigh. " I heard them all, trust me : it sucks to be named after a legendary king. "

He let his words hang in the air for a second before adding :

" Though I admit it's also kind of flattering. "

Merlin's expression turned bemused, and he burst out laughing when he noticed Arthur's sly smile, his features finally relaxed, the pale column of his neck on display :

" I can't believe it " he stated once he'd calm down a notch, wiping a tear from his eye. " And here I thought I had come across a decent human being. "

His crinkled eyes and wide grin belied the obvious annoyance in his tone, and Arthur only huffed in answer, mock affronted at the jab. At least until Merlin turned to him and added :

" So, you're driving or what ? "

***

The first few minutes of the ride were painfully awkward, to say the least. The silence stretched uncomfortably between them, neither of them quite knowing how to start the conversation. Merlin was fidgeting on his seat, eyes firmly locked on the window and lips pinched in obvious discomfort, while Arthur's hands were gripped tight on the steering wheel.

" Okay, that won't do " Merlin suddenly chimed in, voice firm and resolute. " I usually like a bit of quiet, but this is just plain embarrassing. "

He took a deep breath, rubbed his hands together - Arthur subconsciously closed the windows and turned up the heating, earning him a curious look from Merlin - and let out a sigh before continuing :

" Right. So, as you already know, my name is Merlin. I'm twenty-two - yes, truly, even if I'm always told I could pass as a high-schooler - and I'm currently on a break, but I study astrophysics in uni. I own two cats, Kilgharrah and Aithusa, but while the latter is a lovely white furball, the first is just an old cat that looks at everyone like he knows something they don't, and loves to sleep all day on my mum's old couch. "

As he stopped rambling, Arthur threw him a amused glance, chuckling lightly :

" Well, you certainly know how to break the ice with strangers " he commented, if a little unhelpfully, smiling as he unclenched his hands on the wheel.

" But we're not strangers anymore, Arthur " Merlin chirped happily. " Or are we ? "

Arthur rolled the eyes at the implied request, lips pursued in consideration, but complied anyway :

" Arthur. Twenty-seven. Lawyer. No animals, but I used to have a turtle growing up. I live in Camelot, but occasionally travel around for work. And I eat my avocados with ketchup. "

The last part made Merlin laugh, head thrown back in joyous delight :

" Really, Arthur ? " he asked, a mix of mirth and disbelief swirling in his voice. " Ketchup ? "

Arthur hummed thoughtfully, drumming a beat on the wheel with his left-hand fingers, his only ring flashing under the headlights of a passing car :

" You should try it sometimes " he confirmed, tone serious but lips twitching. " It's really good. "

" You know what, I might " Merlin commented off-handedly. " My mum tries new recipes every day, but she never..."

He froze mid-sentence, mouth agape, staring at Arthur as if he'd just said that it was him that had hung the moon and the stars in the sky - with some nails and a hammer, no less :

" Wait " he uttered, a little imploringly. " You said twenty-seven ? "

" Well, yes " Arthur replied, a slight frown pulling at his brow. " How is that a problem ? "

Merlin whistled sharply :

" It's not " he promised, shaking his head. " I just didn't think you were so old. "

" I am hardly old, Merlin " Arthur remarked, slightly annoyed. " I'm not even thirty ! A bit of respect here. "

" Alright, okay, maybe not old, though you're definitely older than me " Merlin amended, raising his hands in a placating gesture. " It's just - you look young somehow. Like, I don't know, I know people younger than you that look older - and not old good, I mean, like wise and beardy and all, but tired, and..."

He trailed off, biting his lips - running out of things to say or realizing he was babbling, Arthur didn't know - and clamped his mouth shut.

" I didn't think you were a high-schooler, you know " Arthur offered after a second of awkward silence. " I thought twenty, at least . "

" Aww " Merlin cooed mockingly, " now he's being nice again. "

Arthur snorted, slapping the wheel with a hand :

" Will you stop it ? " he complained, but he was laughing. " I'm just saying, you don't look that young. You wouldn't. "

It was Merlin's turn to raise a disbelieving eyebrow at him :

" How can I not look young ? " he wondered, eyes like an owl's - not that Arthur was noticing. " I'm like, the embodiment of youth " he added, gesturing at himself. " Beardless and scrawny and all. "

He was joking, Arthur could tell, but rather than playing along the blond only shrugged :

" You look too confident " he explained. " High-schoolers rarely carry themselves like this - shoulder set back, head held high, but inherently relaxed at the same time. Comfortable with themselves. But you do. "

As Merlin failed to reply, Arthur worried that he was being too forward, but his passenger finally nodded :

" I guess I see what you mean " he replied, considering. " That's quite the compliment. An odd one, but still. "

His words were careful, but his smile spoke of fondness and approval rather than him being weirded out.

" We could definitely get along, you know" he added belatedly, as if speaking to himself.

Arthur smiled crookedly at that :

" Who said that we wouldn't ? I mean, granted, the situation is a bit unusual, but hey, you know what they say. First time for everything. "

Merlin shook his head, a hand in front of his mouth to muffle a snicker :

" But look at us ! " he exclaimed, gesturing between them. " Two men, five years apart, huddled together in the same car, not-strangers since only a few minutes ago ? One a young student traveling alone, who had to work to pay his fees and comes from a tiny village with an internet connection dating from the dinosaurs, while the other was probably born with a spoon of gold in his mouth, mummy and daddy obviously richer than rich, and looks every bit like a pompous prat ? "

Arthur sobered up at the last words, tensing up, and his jaw clenched as he resolutely stared at the sinuous road in front of him.

" Oh no " Merlin suddenly backtracked, and one quick glance informed Arthur that his passenger looked crestfallen. " Please tell me I didn't offend you, or hurt you, or anything. My mum always says my head is lost in the stars, so I constantly put my foot in my mouth when I try to talk to people. "

He took a deep breath to calm himself and added :

" I'm truly sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive. I don't..."

He didn't seem to know how to finish his sentence, so he simply trailed off and let the silence fill in the blanks. Arthur pursued his lips and nodded once, trying to will away the bitterness that had taken hold of him :

" It's fine " he assured, even if it wasn't, not quite. " It's just..."

" You don't have to explain " Merlin quickly cut in. " I understand. "

" No, you don't " Arthur replied with a shrug, even if he wasn't sure the latter could see it.

He sighed, drumming on the wheel again :

" You aren't wrong " he finally stated, mouth twisted sideways. " I was born with a spoon of gold in my mouth. I am wealthy, more than most - who am I kidding, my last name isn't Pendragon for nothing . But mummy and daddy in the picture ? Not so much. "

He heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath and almost dreaded the following words - it was common reaction when he disclosed his last name - but the next part took him by surprise :

" Oh shite " Merlin hissed. " Are they...I mean..."

He gulped, but Arthur understood the question well enough :

" My mother died when I was little " he softly replied.

He didn't add that she actually died in childbirth - that was too much pain to be shared with a barely-not-stranger.

" As to my father, well. There is a reason I haven't spoken to him in four years. "

" Shite " Merlin cursed again, this time with even more conviction. " I truly am sorry, I didn't mean...I didn't want to dig up painful memories, I just..."

" You couldn't have known, Merlin " Arthur assured him, smiling despite himself. " It's alright. "

There was a second of silence, an hesitation, and then :

" If I may ask..."

Merlin trailed off abruptly, catching himself. Arthur made out some muttering, and nearly didn't hear the words _Don't push your luck, you bloody moron, don't push your luck_. He would have laughed if not for the last dregs of memories plaguing his mind.

" You can ask, you know " he mused, unconcerned.

" I can't " Merlin refused, and Arthur could sense his unease. " You would throw me out. "

He sniffled a few times, and Arthur was worried he was actually getting a cold despite the heating, before he added :

" No, I can't. It would be untoward. "

His tone was decisive, so Arthur didn't try to push him. Merlin would ask later, if he truly wanted to know.

***

It wasn't until the next few miles that Merlin spoke again. The road they were currently on was straight, and there was no one in sight, so Arthur allowed himself a few quick glances to detail his passenger. Merlin was curled up in his seat, knees to his chest, looking like some kitten who had found the perfect place to take a nap. His unruly black hair was curling over large ears, enhancing the sharpness of his cheekbones and the bow of his lips.

He was wearing a soft grey jogging with a simple blue shirt and worn out trainers, but his clothes looked clean, if slightly rumpled. His left wrist was adorned with several bracelets made of wooden beads, while a leather wristband was looped around his right one. And, Arthur noticed, there was a light stubble on his cheeks and chin, helping making him look like the twenty-two years old he was, and not the high-schooler some apparently thought him to be.

He was a beautiful man, Arthur reflected, albeit in an unconventional way.

" Aren't you supposed to keep your eyes on the road ? "

Beautiful _and_ cheeky. The comment startled Arthur, but he recovered with enough ease as to hide the twitch of his hands on the wheel.

" I know how to drive, Merlin " he drawled, resolutely refusing to feel embarrassed for having been caught staring.

He turned his eyes back on the road nonetheless, aware that Merlin did have a point - it wouldn't do him any good to cause an accident for the sake of scrutinizing his passenger.

" Riiiight " the latter replied, totally unconvinced, and Arthur could feel the weight of his gaze on him. " This is why you've been ogling me for the past five minutes. "

Arthur spluttered :

" I am not ogling you ! " he retorted, indignant. " I'm driving. Therefore, I must not look at my passenger. Hence me not being ogling you. "

His explanation was childish at best, and Merlin clearly didn't fall for it, if his dubious silence was any indication. Feeling cornered, Arthur sighed :

" Fine " he relented, a bit exasperated, " I am. So what ? "

Merlin clicked his tongue disapprovingly :

" Oh, I don't know " he replied, his voice a curious rumble. " Maybe I don't want to have an accident ? Like, I would really appreciate it, you have no idea. "

" Obviously " Arthur replied, rolling his eyes. " But, in case you haven't noticed, I am in the car too. I'm being careful. This is a straight road. The only danger we could encounter in a startled deer trying to play tag with the car. "

Merlin hummed, mollified somehow, but his reply was sharp nonetheless :

" And I swear, Arthur, if you ever hit a deer while driving and the poor animal dies, I'm making you dig its grave with your bare hands. "

Arthur shrugged, seemingly unconcerned, but inwardly he knew he would do it himself if it came to that. Which it wouldn't, because he was a responsible driver. Scrunching his nose, he sighed for the second time :

" Alright, alright, I'll keep the eyes on the road. "

Merlin chuckled softly :

" You do that " he confirmed.

The silence stretched, comfortable for once. Trees were flying by the windows, shapes odd and menacing in turns, the scarecrows planted in the crops fields condemning the sky to eternal damnation with the spike of their outstretched hands.

" I was wondering " Merlin started conversationally. " What were you doing in Mercia ? If it's not too personal a question. "

" Not at all " Arthur replied, chancing a glance at Merlin and finding him looking right back at him. " I was attending a business meeting with a client. "

" Business meeting ? " Merlin repeated, sounding genuinely curious. " I thought that you were a lawyer. "

" Originally, yes " Arthur corrected. " Truth be told, it's been some time since I last performed in court. I leave that to my employees now. "

" Your employees ? " Merlin asked, tone disbelieving. " As in, _your_ employees ? "

Arthur didn't need to see Merlin to know that the latter had his wide eyes fixed on him :

" Yes, Merlin, my employees " he repeated slowly, if a bit cautiously - he was accustomed to surprise and disbelief, but he had hoped to avoid the inevitable argument.

" You have your own company, then ? " Merlin wondered, aghast.

" Yup " Arthur replied, the word rolling curiously off his tongue.

He had half the mind to leave it at that - despite the appearances, he didn't like to brag - but sensing Merlin's curiosity, he forced himself to go on :

" I started working for my father when I got out of law school. But, well, we had some pretty big fights - the earth-shattering, mug-throwing, all-the-building-knows-about-it types - so I left to start my own firm. I haven't been much of a lawyer ever since. "

" You sound like it's a bad thing " Merlin remarked, careful not to comment on the father thing, as far as Arthur could see.

" Not at all " the blond countered. " It's true that I miss it sometimes, but the work I do now is more important. It's just..."

He frowned a little, trying to find the best way to phrase his thoughts :

" People don't tend to react well when I say that I own my company " he explained. " More often than not they're already skittish when they learn my name, so...It's like adding insult to injury, in a way. I guess you can understand how I like to keep it quiet. You already called me a pompous prat once this evening, after all. "

He felt more than saw Merlin's wince, and the latter's reply was laced with regret :

" Sorry again about that " he amended, tone earnest. " And, well, I don't know if it'll mean anything, but I think it's pretty amazing that you managed it all. Because, well, you said earlier that your name was Pendragon, right ? As in Uther Pendragon ? "

Arthur nodded shortly, teeth grinding at the name.

" Well, I heard more than once some friends talking about how they'd rather work with you than with your father, 'cause at least they'd know they would truly be helped, and more than anything listened to, you know ? Besides, I just realized, but if you're _the_ Arthur Pendragon...you might not remember it, but you're the owner of the company that saved the village I grew up in. Albion's Law Firm, right ? "

Arthur nodded again, a small yet soft smile playing on his lips, not making a secret of his curiosity as he hummed :

" That's the one " he confirmed. " Albion for short. "

And if there was a hint of pride coloring his voice, well, only Merlin was there to hear it.

" What is the name of your village ? " he asked, intrigued.

" Ealdor ! " Merlin exclaimed. " Home of bees and flowers. We provide the best honey in all the country. "

Arthur snorted at the comment with both affection and a little amusement, valiantly trying not to dwell on the bow of Merlin's lips. He pinched his eyebrows together, cogs turning in his brain, before a brilliant smile lit up his features :

" Got it " he said. " Ealdor, little village near Essetir, littered with frightful hives. "

Merlin whooped, as if Arthur had just won a prize, his eyes crinkling in crescent not unlike the moon in the sky.

" Robert Kanen, right ? " Arthur tempted, waiting for confirmation. " A private corporate who wanted to buy the land and build some kind of facility on it ? "

" That's the one " Merlin happily confirmed. " That bastard got what he deserved. "

Arthur choked a bit at Merlin's bluntness, the latter smiling sheepishly at him when his coughing fit settled.

" You know " Arthur mentioned, " Ealdor was actually Gwen and I's first case. "

" Really ? " Merlin asked, voice rising in surprise. " I wouldn't have thought. My mother always claimed the lawyers were young but professional. "

Arthur smiled, eyes firmly on the road now that they were nearing inhabited places again. He knew his features looked wistful, but he couldn't help the wave of nostalgia at the memory of his first real success :

" We were young " he explained, " and we are still. But we were determined to win, that's what made a difference, I think. "

He chuckled humorlessly, head tilting to the side :

" Besides, it's not as if I would have been allowed to work with my father if I hadn't graduated at the top of my class. I'm just glad I can do things that matter now, and not help a rich business magnate escape charges of fraud or something. "

Merlin whistled softly, his features strangely subdued - not that Arthur could see them, but there was a wonder in his voice, a curious lilt that made Arthur frown :

" What is it ? " he asked, chancing a look at his partner that seemed to be struck speechless.

" It's nothing " Merlin replied, hand waving about in dismissal.

He sighed. Obviously, it wasn't nothing, or he wouldn't have reacted like he had in the first place.

" It's just, well, here you are, CEO of your own company since you were, what, twenty-three ? "

At Arthur's intrigued nod, he continued, features slightly pinched :

" You're out there, helping people for real, making a difference. You're smart, fit like it doesn't exist in real life, funny when you don't try to be, and kind at that. I mean, don't take me wrong, that's amazing, but I guess my inferiority complex is kicking in. "

Arthur snorted, but when he received no reply, he let his eyes widen as he carefully looked at Merlin :

" You're kidding me, right ? "

" Not really, no " Merlin said with a wan smile. " I mean, what's there to say ? I know I'm amazing too. That's not the point. But..."

Arthur pondered his answer for a second or too, knowing that it would have to be carefully crafted :

" First of all " he asserted, " you are amazing. I second the motion. "

His remark made Merlin chuckle, which was rather the idea.

" Second, if you're studying astrophysics, then you're smart as hell. That shit ain't easy. You're not too bad looking yourself..."

That earned him a snort, and it's with a pleased smile that he added :

" ...and you're really easy to talk to. I mean, you probably wouldn't guess, but I'm not the most talkative of people. I tend to keep to myself. "

Merlin hummed, but his reply was serious rather than amused :

" I've spent most of my childhood looking at the stars " he stated, " and I guess I never really knew when to leave them. But to study astrophysics...It's not really useful, is it ? "

Arthur thoughtfully rubbed the wing of his nose :

" Maybe your dreams don't need to be useful to anyone " he replied after a second of silence. " Maybe accomplishing them for yourself is enough. Maybe that's the whole purpose of a dream. "

" Wise old man " Merlin muttered, but it was a kind sound.

" Far from it " Arthur replied. " It's just something I learned along the way. Besides, if it truly is usefulness that you're worried about..."

He took a deep breath, heart clenched in his chest.

" ...you can remember that offering to understand the sky is a noble cause " he said. " I think the stars give us hope. Knowing there are other things out there, that we're just one tiny drop of water in whole oceans, I find it reassuring somehow. I mean, it's like the book says, isn't it ? _The Little Prince_. Everyone sees something different when they look at the stars, don't they ? If you can offer that wonder to a someone, can you really say you're not useful ? "

He choked on his words, the lump in his throat suffocating him, but Merlin knew better than to ask :

" I loved that book when I was a child " he rather said, voice suddenly low, understanding that Arthur had just shared a very private thought, even if he didn't know what exactly. " My mother used to read it to me. It took me years to comprehend why the part with the fox used to make her cry. "

Arthur smiled then, breathing easing, and he shrugged off the sadness permeating the air like one would step out of a too tight coat.

" Thank you, Arthur " Merlin suddenly murmured. " For what you said. It means a lot. "

And if Arthur's features softened impossibly at that, well, only the moon was there to bear witness.

***

They stayed silent for a few more miles, occasionally smiling at each other. Arthur was focused on the road, stealing barely-there glances at Merlin, and the latter was rubbing his hands together in an attempt to warm them, snuggling on the seat as if it was a blanket. Without surprise, it was him who started the conversation again, Arthur used to stay quiet for long period of times without feeling the weight of the silence :

" So, are you ever going to ask me ? "

Arthur blinked twice, carefully checking his rearview mirror before responding :

" Ask you what ? "

Merlin waved a hand about, rather impatiently :

" Me. Tonight. What I'm doing. "

" Uh ? " was Arthur's very intelligent reply, and Merlin clucked his tongue, no doubt rolling his eyes at Arthur's astounding wit.

" I bet " he started, distractedly tugging at a lock of black hair, " that you're wondering what someone - oh so young like I am - is doing all on his own, on the side of a dangerous, dangerous road in the middle of the dangerous, dangerous countryside, and all in the middle of the darkest night you've ever seen. "

Arthur knew to recognize sarcasm when he heard it - he himself was a specialist - and cast a bemused glance in Merlin's general direction :

" This is not quite how I would have phrased it " he answered slowly, and Merlin snorted, " but yeah, you got the idea. "

His passenger smiled toothily, features open and relaxed, and Arthur decided to humor him :

" So, Merlin, what were you doing all alone, on such a dangerous night, in such a dangerous environment ? "

" I thought you'd never ask ! " Merlin exclaimed happily.

Arthur chuckled at the childlike reaction and settled comfortably in his seat, sensing that the story would take some time :

" You see " Merlin recounted, " I am currently waiting for the last term to start so I can complete my master degree. I've been wondering what to do with myself all summer - well, not quite, I did work with Gaius at the observatory for two months, but you know. Well. I guess I needed some space. "

Arthur nodded dutifully - he could understand the need to get away. It wasn't by chance that he often went to meet clients on his own, after all. Merlin started fiddling with his bracelets, seemingly gathering his thoughts.

" I've been in Mercia for a few days, moving around, trying to discover the town. I mean, Ealdor isn't too far from here, but I've never been on this side of the country. Though I did find the city beautiful, I figured it was time for me to have a change of scenery. I'm not exactly rich, you see, so a friend of mine promised to drive me to the next town. "

He chuckled at the prospect of what was to follow, and Arthur could only wait patiently for Merlin to stop snickering.

" Of course, said friend got called in for a job, so he asked another friend of his to take me in. Except, that particular friend was only scheduled for a delivery halfway there, then another on the other side of the city, so he could only take me so far. "

He heaved a put-upon sigh, then added :

" I've used this mode of transportation before, so hitchhiking doesn't exactly scare me. Three girls on vacation drove me all the way to their grandmother's house. The old lady seemed great, except for the fact that she threw me out because she thought I was some kind of sex offender. "

Merlin's nose scrunched up at that, as he was a bit indignant at the idea, and Arthur snorted :

" Which you're obviously not " he mused, cocking his head to the side.

" Which I'm evidently not " Merlin confirmed. " Old lady didn't seem to care, so I was reduced to walk. A farmer offered me a ride, but he started getting uncomfortably tactile, so I slipped away the first chance I got. "

The remark made a frown pull at Arthur's brow, as well as a deep-seated feeling of discomfort spread in his gut. Seemingly reading his mind, Merlin added :

" Yes, I know what risks I'm taking when I do this. And no, though it almost did a few times, nothing bad ever happened to me. I've been lucky. "

Arthur let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, earning him a curious glance from Merlin - and it was strange that everything he could do or say seemed to surprise his passenger, like he was out in the forest and kept finding chocolate Easter eggs where there shouldn't be any.

" Then " Merlin started again with more emphasis, " I had to walk again. Except, piggy farmer was the only one living in the area. So I walked, and walked, and walked...you get the idea. I was getting a bit desperate when you showed up. I was beginning to wonder if it would be better to walk all night or sleep under a tree or something. And my clothes aren't very warm. "

" I noticed " Arthur replied dryly.

He turned the heat up a notch, just for good measure.

" You know " he said thoughtfully, " you're lucky I have a meeting tomorrow, or I would have stayed in Mercia for the night. "

Merlin's whimper left no doubts as to what were his thoughts on the subject, and Arthur was left to laugh cheerfully as Merlin pouted away in the silence.

***

They stopped for the first time after driving for two hours, mainly to refuel the tank, but also because Arthur was starting to cramp and needed to stretch his legs. He gingerly got out of the car, swiftly followed by Merlin, and the latter didn't pass on the occasion to mock his penguin walk. Arthur glared at him, annoyed, but didn't have it in him to stay angry in front of Merlin's guileless smile.

The black-haired man started to walk away, throwing a " I'll be right back " over his shoulder, and Arthur couldn't stop himself from calling after him, throat suddenly tight :

" Merlin ! "

The hitchhiker's steps faltered and he turned back questioningly. The dim lightening of the station, coupled with Merlin's pale skin and ethereal features, made him look like a fae, a creature sprung out of a legend to roam the earth and disappear without a trace.

" Tell me now if you wish to get away " he demanded, trying his best to appear uncaring of the answer and failing miserably. " So that I don't wait for you. "

Merlin frowned briefly, lips pinched together for a second, puzzled at the request, until he softened his smile in understanding :

" Nah " he replied, " you might be a prat, but I think I'll tag along for a while. "

He winked :

" As I said, Arthur " he promised. " I'll be right back. "

Taking his word to heart, Arthur moved the car to the pump, and once he was done parked it in a spot behind the store. While he waited for his passenger, he pondered what he had learned about the man. Merlin was surprisingly talkative once he got started on a subject, open minded and tremendously funny. He more than once made Arthur laugh in a carefree way he wasn't accustomed to, by telling stories about the ones he had traveled with and the quirks of his fellow students.

Merlin was undoubtedly smart, too, effortlessly answering Arthur's jabs with a dry humor and a sharp tongue. It was a delight for Arthur, who rarely found someone to keep up with him - he was usually deemed too intimidating. After the first few miles, they had fallen into an easy banter, comfortable in a way strangers rarely were with each other, trading insults and stories as if they were long time friends.

It was strange, Arthur mused, that feeling of being close to Merlin, even more so because he only knew him for a few hours at most.

Startled out of his thoughts by a light knock on the window, he turned his head to find Merlin grinning down at him :

" Come on now, lazy daisie, time to go! " the hitchhiker singsonged, whooping a bit as he rounded the car, once again placing his backpack in the backseat before settling up front.

Smiling fondly, Arthur gratefully accepted the proffered cup of coffee :

" It's not really good " Merlin regretted, " but it's the best I could find. "

" Thank you " Arthur half-moaned, taking a sip under Merlin's amused gaze. " Gods, I truly needed this. "

Merlin chuckled and brought his own cup to his lips, which judging by the smell was filled with hot chocolate. He blushed prettily when Arthur raised an eyebrow at him :

" Shut up " he mumbled. " 's my guilty pleasure. "

Arthur's laugh boomed into the car, a joyous sound that made Merlin's eyes crinkle at the corner. Under the dim light of the neons from the shop, his irises were flickering in hues of gold, and Arthur was disappointed to find that he couldn't distinguish the color underneath.

" That's what Gwen says too " he commented once he'd calmed down a notch. " She loathes the taste of coffee, but she swears tea makes her sleepy, so chocolate it is. You should have seen the faces of the board members when she strode in with a Snoopy mug in one hand to hand over her resignation letter to Uther. "

Merlin giggled at the image, before a cloud overcame his expression. As Arthur started the engine and gently guided the car away from the station, he stretched a bit, revealing a tantalizing trail as his shirt moved up, before curling up in a ball, back to the window, chin propped up on his closed hand. Arthur swallowed dryly, stealing a few glances in Merlin's general direction.

" Eyes on the road, Arthur " Merlin chided mockingly, a sleepy smile on his face.

There was something else in his expression, which had turned more guarded, and Arthur didn't have to wait long before discovering what it was :

" Arthur ? " Merlin asked.

" Yes ? "

Arthur saw him bite his lower lip from the corner of his eyes, and refrained himself from smiling too fondly at him.

" You mentioned her before " Merlin said, a bit hesitant, " but who is Gwen, exactly ? "

Curiosity was coloring his voice but his tone was tinted with something else, cautious and maybe afraid.

" Let's see " Arthur replied, thoughtful. " She's an old friend of mine - one of the oldest, actually. She's also my partner at Albion - she chose to work for me rather than my father, which I will always be grateful for - and the best pastry chef I've ever known. And " he added as an afterthought, " she's practically my sister-in-law, too. "

Arthur could have sworn Merlin sighed in relief at the words, but it was probably wishful thinking on his part.

" Your brother's making her wait, then? " the hitchhiker asked, a small smile playing hide-and-seek at the corner of his lips.

" Sister " Arthur corrected absent-mindedly. " And no, it's more that she's scared Gwen will say no - which she won't, because she's been _waiting_ for her to make a move, but Morgana won't listen. "

Merlin chuckled slightly, before asking, ever so softly :

" So you and Gwen aren't...I mean..."

Arthur blinked, looking at the road, swearing he had seen a hedgehog staring reproachfully at him from the side. It took him a second to answer :

" Actually, Gwen and I dated for a while back in law school. Then she met my sister, and realized that she wasn't as straight as she thought - not at all, actually. And, well, I came to the conclusion that we were better off as friends anyway. "

Merlin whistled, a happy twinkle in his eyes :

" Too bad " he mused, tone gently teasing. " That would have made an interesting family drama. The coveted lawyer starts dating her ex's sister, will the poor man manage to win back the heart of his beloved ? "

Arthur snorted :

" Shut up, Merlin. "

But his words lacked any bite, and Merlin laughed merrily in answer.

***

It didn't take long for them to reach the next town, and by the time the car came to a stop at a red light, both men were wrapped in the comfortable silence that had settled over them somewhere along the way. The conversation had veered toward various topics, from favorite books and movies to studies and politics, and Arthur had found that if they didn't have much experiences in common, their thoughts and ideas about the things that mattered were more often then not in tune with the other's.

" I was wondering " Arthur started conversationally as the light turned green, gently guiding the car along the road, keeping an eye out for unannounced pedestrians.

" Hmm ? " was Merlin's only reply.

He stifled a yawn behind one hand, stretching his back like a cat - maybe he had spent too long with Kilgharrah and Aithusa at home, Arthur thought - and turned a tired but aware gaze at the blond :

" I was wondering, " Arthur repeated with a smile. " You said it wasn't the first time you traveled like this. When did you start ? "

It was an innocent enough question, at least for Arthur, but he quickly understood as Merlin stiffened beside him that it might have been too personal :

" You don't have to tell me " he quickly amended. " I was just curious. But if you'd rather talk about the weather... "

The night was pretty dark still - none of the houses were lit along the road, the sole lights streaming from erratic lampposts - so the weather wasn't actually an ideal subject, but Arthur knew Merlin would get the idea.

" I could " the latter replied indeed, " but you'd tell me to shut up less than two minutes in. "

Arthur didn't have to look at him to know that his eyes were twinkling and his lips bowed in a half, if pained, smile. There was a heavy silence, and then :

" It's quite a long story, actually. "

Arthur lifted a shoulder and grinned crookedly, knowing that Merlin was watching him. He pointedly looked at his watch, the gesture mock exaggerated :

" Well, you'll find out that we're approximately four hours and twenty minutes away from Camelot. "

" So? "

Merlin's voice was amused, as the man obviously understood where Arthur was heading, but the blond answered nonetheless :

" So " he repeated, tone light, " we have all the time in the world. Start talking. "

Merlin huffed and added :

" It's also a difficult subject for me. "

His voice was full of gentle reproach. As Arthur chanced a look, he found Merlin's eyes directed outside, unseeing, as if he was lost within himself.

" I gathered as much " Arthur admitted. " You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I won't push. "

And that was enough for Merlin, the reassurance that talking was his choice, that there wouldn't be any consequences should he choose to stay silent :

" I must have been, what, maybe three years old when my father left us, my mother and me " he finally started, the words detached, as if Merlin was trying to distance himself from them. " I never understood why, why he would abandon us like that, why he would leave us all alone to fend for ourselves. I became withdrawn : I didn't eat much, didn't talk much, and spent most of my times laying in the grass, looking at the sky. My mum got a bit desperate because I wouldn't just talk to her. I didn't talk to anyone, really. But my mum was working two jobs and barely had enough to pay for our rent, so there went her hopes of getting me a psychiatrist. "

Arthur couldn't begin to imagine how lonely Merlin must have felt at the time. Granted, he too had grown up with a single parent, but at least he'd had friends and Morgana to keep him company. Merlin, on the other hand, didn't have any siblings.

" It lasted about two years before Will came along. "

Merlin choked a bit on the name, and Arthur figured that whoever it was, it must have been someone important to Merlin.

" Will arrived in Ealdor with his father and ended up in my mother's care - she's a nurse, but volunteers as a nanny sometimes. He was the first person I talked to in months. I remember my mother crying because I managed to string more than a few words together. "

Merlin's voice was subdued, as if coming from far away.

" We became close friends, of course. As we were both only children, we decided that we would be brothers. And we were, in a way - in all the ways but blood. We shared everything, spent all of our childhood and teenage years together. But then... "

Merlin shuddered, and Arthur briefly reached out to squeeze his knee in the hope of offering comfort. He had guessed what would come next :

"But then " Merlin started again, swallowing noisily, " he got hit by a car. The driver was drunk, it was dark...They said he died instantly. "

" I'm so sorry, Merlin " Arthur whispered, heart in his throat.

Merlin hummed :

" He used to tell me that his dream was to leave on a road trip across the country, with nothing but a bad slung over his shoulders and the clothes he wore on his back. "

He shrugged :

" And it happened at a time I needed to get away from home, so I thought, why not me. It's my way of paying my respects to Will. I started then and never really stopped. "

Arthur nodded, a lump closing his airway, loathe to break the too fragile silence.

" Thank you " he finally said, " for telling me. "

Merlin gave him a smile that was too pale and lacked mirth, but however small, it was there, and for Arthur it was enough.

***

" You know " Merlin initiated when the moment had passed and he had wiped away his silent tears with the back of his hand, " when people travel, more often then not they listen to music along the way. "

Arthur hummed, the sound soft. He was aware that Merlin was trying to direct the conversation on more innocent tracks, so he easily replied :

" Well, I am not most people. You do realize that, right ? "

" Of course I do " Merlin replied, bobbing his head up and down in agreement. " You're a prat. If there ever was royalty in Pratland, you'd be the king, I'm telling you. "

A devious smile stretched his lips :

" You might be gorgeous, but you're oh too well aware of that fact. You're smart, obviously, and kind, when you can get away with it. "

Arthur raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as Merlin added :

" And of course you chose humility as your favored personality trait. If that is all ? "

His irony was biting but lacked any venom, and Arthur snorted :

" That's quite enough, thank you " he stated smugly.

" Really, though " Merlin asked, laughing, " you don't like music, or is it just that you find me so entertaining that you'd rather listen to the sound of my voice ? "

" You do have a nice voice " Arthur mused, unconcerned.

He flickered his gaze to Merlin and smiled crookedly when he noticed the wide eyes and parted lips :

" I really do like music " he promised. " I just needed some peace and quiet. I had a long day. "

" Oh " Merlin said, looking dismayed. " Sorry to bother you then, I'll... "

" Merlin ? "

" Shut up? "

Arthur grinned :

" You guessed it. "

He drummed his fingers on the wheel and quickly checked his rearview mirror, but they were on a deserted road again, so there wouldn't be much danger to look out for :

" I can put on some, if you want " he offered.

Merlin made a sound at the back of his throat, frustrated :

" No. "

Arthur chuckled, knowing very well that Merlin didn't want to listen to music - he wanted to listen to Arthur talk about music.

" You'll have to ask me, if you want to know " Arthur clucked his tongue.

Merlin huffed :

" You're unbelievable " he said. " What kind of music do you listen to, then ? "

There was a second of silence, then two, before :

" All of them. "

Arthur grinned so wide it hurt, no caring one bit that his slightly crooked teeth were on display.

" Oh no " Merlin jumped on his seat, suddenly very awake - and very indignant. " Don't you dare. Talk to me. Give me names. Anything, I don't care. "

Arthur's roaring laughter at Merlin's mock-anger quickly dissolved into hiccups, before he finally managed to get himself under control :

" Really, though " he insisted. " I do listen to everything. Foreign songs, classic, jazz, rap, pop, you name it. I rarely don't like a genre in itself. "

He scrunched up his nose.

" Except maybe dubstep. But that can hardly be called music. "

Merlin made a happy sound that morphed into breathless giggles.

" What ? " Arthur asked, puzzled. " What is it ? "

Merlin snorted before he slammed his head back in the window, Arthur wincing in sympathy at the exclamation of pain :

" You're just...so posh ! "

His eyes were crinkled at the corner, and he nearly had another fit of laughter as Arthur replied :

" Posh, I'll show you posh. I should introduce you to my father. _Oh, Arthur, there is nothing like a good Chopin !_ I mean, Chopin is good, but I wouldn't listen to it _all the time_. "

" What do you listen to, then ? " Merlin asked.

" It depends on the mood I'm in. I listen to quite a variety of songs. Except when I find one to put on repeat until I get tired of it. "

" I know the feeling " Merlin muttered.

" When I'm traveling, I usually listen to old rock. America, mostly, or Kansas. When I'm angry, it's heavy metal. I found it soothing. Happy, I go for recent pop songs - the kind you can hear on the radio. And when I need quiet it's instrumental musics - nordic or celtic, depending on the mood. "

Merlin choked out a laugh, a bit awestruck :

" I certainly didn't expect that " he admitted quietly. " You're an odd one, you know that ? "

Arthur shrugged :

" I don't think I'm that different from most " he said. " But, well. What about you ? "

Merlin then launched into an intricate story about his deep, undying love for french songs and his absolute favorite singer, Damien Saez.

" I swear, I've never heard a love song more beautiful than _Rois demain_. Never, Arthur. "

And Arthur, even if he couldn't see Merlin's face light up the way he was sure it did, heard the certainty in his voice, and believed him.

Once the subject had dried out - both of them agreeing that nothing could beat the old Disney songs - Merlin tentatively asked the question that had plagued him since their earliest conversation :

" I don't know if you remember " he murmured, curious and cautious all at once, " but what I wanted to ask you was rather personal a question. "

Arthur hummed, as he remembered perfectly Merlin's hesitation and decisive silence :

" I think we covered that, didn't we ? "

Merlin nodded, considering, his smile soft :

" We did " he confirmed.

He took a deep breath :

" Why aren't you talking to your father ? "

Arthur inhaled sharply, the bluntness of the words like a blow to the stomach - he had expected it, but it hurt nonetheless.

" It's a complicated story " he replied so very carefully. " One that involves many things I don't like to talk about. One that I don't think it wise I tell while driving. "

" I understand " Merlin quickly said, trying his best to hide his dismay, even if he knew he wasn't entitled to Arthur's story.

" Ask me again at the next stop, alright ? "

Merlin's mouth parted in surprise, and his eyes shone with unexpected tenderness - not that Arthur could see either.

" Alright. "

It was a promise.

***

In the end, Merlin didn't have to ask. They stopped roughly three hours away from Camelot, but this time they chose a deserted station near the highway they had reached earlier. Arthur shared some of the sandwiches he had packed before leaving from Mercia, while Merlin dived in the deepest pockets of his huge backpack to come back with messily tangled hair, an adorable but victorious smile on his face, and a bag of candy that was easily the size of Merlin's head.

They shared a private look and Arthur surprised Merlin when he invited him to climb on the roof of his car. His old companion was solid, more than most would give it credit for, and could easily hold both of their weights : if Arthur himself wasn't exactly light, Merlin on the other hand couldn't weigh more than a bunch of feathers - and he was being generous.

The ominous creak of the roof told Arthur that he might have to revise his estimation, but for now they were content to lay down close to each other, if not quite touching. Merlin opened the bag of candy and offered it to Arthur without question, before popping one sweet to his mouth, humming softly.

The stars were twinkling above their heads, as if addressing them their own luminous smiles, and Arthur felt a tug at his heart, a touch he hadn't felt for a long time. Deep into the sky, the moon too seemed to be smiling :

" I told you earlier " Arthur started, " that my mother died when I was young. That's not quite true. "

He felt Merlin's hand brushing his own, and didn't pull away.

" She died in childbirth. She had always known that the pregnancy would be difficult, but she hadn't expected to fall ill a few months in. She had the choice to keep me or not, and she chose to. I never knew why. "

He took a deep breath, Merlin's knuckles a soothing touch on his skin.

" Growing up, my father didn't miss an occasion to remind me that I had killed my mother. "

Merlin gasped, trying to sit up, disbelief plain in the twist of his mouth and the shine of his wide eyes.

" So I had to make up for it. I had to be the best - at school, at sports, at relationships...Everything was a challenge. And every victory meant nothing. It wasn't because I had to make my mother proud - that, I would have anyway - but because my mother had given her life to me, and anything I would do that didn't follow my father's wishes would be wasting my life. Her life. "

" That fucking..."

" Hush, Merlin. "

Merlin quieted down instantly, vibrating from anger, and this time he twined his fingers with Arthur's.

" So I did my best at school, studying law, as he wanted me to. I did my best at sports - captain of the footie team and so on. I did my best at relationships, and this is where my father's carefully crafted plan cracked. Because..."

He took a deep breath. What he was about to say wasn't a secret, nor was it something he advertised. But there, under the watchful stars, he felt safe enough to open his heart :

" Because he never expected that his only son would be bisexual. As I had only dated women in the past, he didn't know or didn't care : I could escort the daughters of business partners to parties. I could be seen in public with them. I could settle down, marry, have children. "

Merlin was still as a stone beside him, but his body was relaxed ; unmoving save for the circles his thumb traced on Arthur's skin.

" I was twenty-three when I started dating a man for the first time. The day he learned about it...well, the whole building did too. His office looked like a storm had just walked through - papers scattered everywhere, coffee stains on the carpet, splintered glass where he threw his mug against the window. "

He chuckled despite himself :

" The storm part became true about an hour later, because of course Gwen called Morgana as soon as she heard - and my sister can be really fearsome when she puts her mind to it. "

" I'm starting to really like your sister " Merlin said, voice muffled.

He tenderly squeezed Arthur's hand as he went on :

" I haven't spoken to my father ever since " Arthur finally admitted. " There are some things you just don't forget. Your father telling you the mother you never knew would be ashamed of you because of who you love is one of them. "

Merlin's hold on his hand tightened impossibly.

" Gods " he breathed out. " That's...I have no words. "

" I don't think I will ever forgive him " Arthur stated, voice a caress. " I don't think I will ever want to. "

A soft wind started picking up around them, gentle as a mellow cat's paw.

" But it's alright. " He raised his hand, studying their entwined fingers. " I'm alright now. "

And there was all the anger he felt toward his father, the crushing disappointment, the waning sadness, and underneath it all the unspoken grief.

And Merlin, Merlin that he knew for a few hours only, Merlin that was too young and too wise and ate candy while looking at the stars on the roof of a never-again-stranger's car, Merlin understood and held him tight.

***

They went back on the road soon after, Merlin curled up in the passenger seat, Arthur at the wheel. Merlin had admitted earlier that he didn't have a license, because he couldn't afford a car, so he didn't see the point.

In an attempt at levity, Merlin carefully smiled at Arthur :

" Your father must have been right shocked " he said tentatively, " to have both his children date the same sex. "

Arthur's lips twitched :

" Actually, you're right in more ways than you think " he replied, fighting a smile.

Despite the heavy subject, he felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. The tug at his heart hadn't disappeared, and he was beginning to understand why.

" Gwen and Morgana weren't together at the time " he explained. " But when they both finally decided that the other was worth the attention, well...Because of my father - Morgana occasionally has to work with him, business and all that - they didn't hesitate to be quite...demonstrative. "

Arthur grimaced, the thought of his sister being intimate with anyone, be it his closest friend - even more so when said friend was an ex-girlfriend - exceptionally uncomfortable.

" So my father did what he does best. He had a stroke. Except, this time, he did quite literally. "

Merlin choked on his breath :

" You mean he... "

" Oh, he's alive and well " Arthur promised, waving his concerns away. " But he did end up in the hospital that one time. Morgana always brings it up when we have dinner together. She considers it her greatest accomplishment. "

Of course, everything would have been very, very different if his father hadn't made it out of the hospital. Arthur didn't know what he would have done if his father had died there, but he was glad not to have to think about it.

" Right " Merlin intervened, voice resolute. " Now I definitely want to meet your sister. And Gwen. They sound awesome. "

Arthur chuckled :

" They would love you right back " he promised. " Gwen would give you her recipe for the best hot chocolate in the world. Morgana would make you spill all of your secrets with a well offered drink, then threaten to reveal them one by one if you don't do her bidding. "

Merlin laughed, exposing the pale column of his neck, a collarbone peeking from under his shirt.

" Would she really ? "

" I don't know " Arthur admitted ruefully. " She knows better than to try with me. I have my ways of getting back at her. "

" Ugh. Remind me to never get between you two. "

Arthur chuckled at that, but it hit him, suddenly, that they were talking about a future together. It made something warm spread in his chest, and he wished to every shooting star that the drive would never end - that Merlin would never leave.

***

They were barely an hour away from Camelot when Arthur felt a sudden change in his car. Cursing under his breath, he quickly stopped in secure place near the road, the deserted path weaving around crop fields providing enough space to allow them to look out for any incoming car.

Sure enough, when he stepped out, Merlin stumbling after him, he found a flat tire, the thick head of a nail peeking from a tear in the material.

" Great " he muttered, refraining from yelling expletives to the sky.

Merlin stepped away, a bit uneasy :

" You know, if we were in a movie, this is where you would tell me you're actually an axe murderer and you want me to kneel before you so you could kill me. "

Arthur snorted, rummaging in his trunk in order to get the necessary equipment to change the tire - and to stifle the wave of desire that overcame him at the idea of Merlin on his knees :

" Don't be ridiculous " he chided. " If I had to kill you, I'd probably use a gun. Much more efficient, and less messy. "

" So you're not an axe murderer ? " Merlin asked, biting off a smile.

Arthur turned back just in time to see Merlin's eyes lingering on his backside, the sight startling him. Realizing he'd been caught staring, Merlin smiled bashfully, eyes glinting in the dim light, and shrugged. Arthur felt warmth spread inside his chest and he gave Merlin a daring once over, secure in the knowledge that only the moon was watching :

" Not an axe murderer " he confirmed. " But I could make you kneel alright. "

Merlin took in a sharp breath, and Arthur saw his cheeks darken with a lovely blush.

" Do you want me to ? " the hitchhiker asked, and his voice was shaking.

" Do you want to ? " Arthur countered, assessing.

He understood very well where the situation was leading them, but he absolutely refused to do anything Merlin didn't want to. The latter, on cue, pressed his lips before nodding once :

" I do. "

It was Arthur who took out the condom from his wallet and handed it to Merlin, Arthur who laid a cloth on the ground so Merlin wouldn't hurt his knees, Arthur who tilted Merlin's chin up to ask for confirmation again.

It was Merlin who freed Arthur's cock from his trousers, Merlin who ripped the foiled packet open and put the condom on Arthur's shaft, marveling at the fact that he was hard already, Merlin who took Arthur into his mouth and made sparks explode behind his eyelids.

It was Merlin who made Arthur bit his lip to stifle a cry as he came, but when Arthur dropped to his knees to return the favor, he found out that Merlin had already come, fisting his cock with one hand while the other rested on Arthur's thigh.

" Gods, Merlin " he breathed out, pressing his forehead against his, the hitchhiker breath warm on his skin.

" Yeah " Merlin said reverently, and it sounded like a surrender. " Yeah. "

***

Arthur let Merlin clean himself as he disposed of the condom and started replacing the tire with the spare, feeling the hitchhiker's eyes on him the entire time. He said nothing but hoped, and when they went back on the way, the silence was heavy in his chest.

Ten minutes into it, the quiet being so different from the first yet just as difficult, if not more, it was Merlin who broke it :

" This is ridiculous " he growled, and he sounded angry. " I just blew you, so what ? It wasn't good enough for you ? "

" It's not that, Merlin " Arthur replied, tiredness plain in the way his voice shivered like a candle threatening to give out.

" What's the big deal, then ? You've never been sucked by a man before ? You've never been on the pull ? "

" I don't usually do that " Arthur bit out.

" And you think I make a habit of sucking off the men who drive me ? We both wanted it, and it happened. It was just a one time thing, alright ? No need to get your knickers in a twist. "

He spat out his last words with a disgusted sneer, his jab underlined with disappointment.

" But that's the problem, Merlin " Arthur hissed, acid in his voice.

But not directed at Merlin, never directed at Merlin.

" What is ? "

Merlin's voice had lost its edge of anger to turn subdued - contemplating.

" I don't _want_ it to be a one time thing. "

Merlin froze on his seat, and Arthur couldn't turn to watch him, even if he desperately wanted to. They were near Camelot now, and the road was far from empty.

" So you want me " Merlin deduced, and there was something bitter in his tone. " So wha..."

" I don't want - _this_ \- Merlin " Arthur replied through gritted teeth. " I want everything. "

His lungs felt like he was breathing wildfire, but he couldn't stop, the urgency of their near arrival speeding up his heart :

" Gods, this is mad " he choked out. " I've known your for only a few hours and I already feel like I've known you my entire life. It sounds so, so stupid but it's true. And I don't even know the color of your _eyes_. "

Merlin choked out a laugh, and Arthur could have sworn his eyes were glistening.

" Blue, Arthur " he said then, softly, quietly. " My eyes are blue. "

And of course they were.

***

They arrived in Camelot at seven in the morning, the sun barely starting to color the sky in soft blues and warm oranges and pretty pinks. The night was receding, taking her secrets with her like the tide, the stars like sea-shells twinkling away in a stumbling laughter. It was a beautiful morning, full of promises, the first rays of the sun burning away any remnants of sorrow, sadness.

There was only hope.

" So, what now ? " Arthur asked.

He had parked the car near the bus station, so that Merlin could go roughly anywhere he wanted in the city. He had paid for both their breakfast, earning a roll of Merlin's eyes - which were indeed very blue, deep like oceans, sparkling with warmth and mirth - and a brilliant, brilliant smile.

The conversation had been light, both avoiding the inevitable as they sealed the fate of their pancakes, but it was only now, as they had to go on their separate ways, that reality came crashing down onto them. It was Merlin's choice, as they both knew : Arthur had made his wishes pretty clear.

" I'll walk around, I think. Try to see if there's anything that catch my eyes. I have two weeks left until I have to go back to Ealdor, so I have time. "

He peered at Arthur with a shy smile, even more beautiful now in the light of the day, then tightened the straps of his backpack, securing its weight on his shoulders.

" I guess I'll go then. Thank you again, Arthur. For everything. "

Arthur nodded, throat tight. The tug he'd felt at his heart was tearing him apart, but he tried his best not to let it show.

" Take care " he murmured.

Merlin nodded, eyes watery, flashed him a smile and took a step away. He froze.

" Arthur, I'm scared. "

He turned back, looking right at Arthur, and the blond felt his heart stutter in his chest.

" You remember what you said, about your sister ? Well, I think I can understand her. I...I'm scared that I'll wake up from this night and it would all have been a dream. I'm terrified that in a few days, a week, a month from now you'll be tired of me and it would all have been a dream. I want...I want you and I'm afraid to have you because I feel like I could love you. "

He stared at Arthur, breathless and trembling, the backpack looking too huge for his lean frame, his blue eyes shining with...was it hope ?

" Merlin..." Arthur breathed out, realization blooming in his chest like a flower in the spring.

He smiled, unbearably fond, and took a step forward. He cupped Merlin's face with one hand, swiping the thumb on his cheekbone, the skin soft under the pad of his fingertip.

" Merlin " he repeated, the name a plea and a reassurance both, the weight of Arthur's world held tight in its grip.

He pressed the softest kiss on Merlin's lips, delicate like a butterfly's wings, and pulled back.

" Me too " he murmured hoarsely. " Merlin, me too. "

And that was enough. Merlin surged forward - his own leap of faith - and pressed his mouth against Arthur's, tangling their tongues in a searing kiss. Heart beating wildly in his chest, Arthur winded his arms around Merlin's narrow waist, pressing him closer, and Merlin whimpered :

" Arthur " he whispered between each kiss. " Arthur, Arthur, Ar... "

" Arthur ? "

They broke apart, breathless, at the sound of Arthur's name. The blond stared at the man who had interrupted them, a tall, grey-haired man dressed in a sharp suit who was currently gaping at them like an oversize fish.

" Father ? " Arthur mouthed, disbelieving.

There was a silence, and then...

" Oh no, no, no. "

But Uther didn't hear, and fainted on the spot.

**Author's Note:**

> Avocados with ketchup are actually quite good. None of my friends believe me, but well. They are. Promise.  
> And if you're wondering what Arthur sees when he looks at the stars, it's his mother's smile - from the only picture he has of her, one that Nimueh gave him.  
> Thank you for reading !


End file.
